


in secret and in silence

by polyamory



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, Reader-Insert, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 01:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7554202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyamory/pseuds/polyamory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a Tully, Catelyn Stark’s niece, come to visit her at Winterfell. Unbeknownst to all you and Jon have been in a secret relationship for years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in secret and in silence

**Author's Note:**

> AU in which everyone's alive and happy and still at winterfell

As soon as you arrive at Winterfell you want nothing more than to fall into Jon's arms. He's changed so much since you last saw each other, but it feels like the whole household is in the courtyard and this is not how you want to reveal your relationship with Jon. His eyes are dark when he greets you and you know that he's thinking the same thing as you.

"Y/N!"

"Aunt Cat," you smile at Cat as she steps forward to hug you.

"You've grown so much since I last saw you. How long has it been?"

"A year at most," you say, pulling back with a smile. "I've missed you."

"And I you," Cat replies. "But you must be exhausted from the journey. Come on, I'll show you your room, let you wash off the road."

"That sounds lovely," you smile, glancing at Jon as Cat leads you into the keep. He nods at you, ever so slightly. Anticipation burns low in your gut and you quicken your steps, anxious to finally be alone with Jon after waiting so long.

"Is there anything else you need?" Cat says when you've reached the room that will be yours for your stay.

"No, thank you, just a chance to relax," you say, gesturing for her to go on. "I'll be with you for a while, Aunt Cat, enjoy your last moments of freedom."

Cat smiles at that, shaking her head lightly. "Just be down in time for the feast," she says, retreating down the hall

"I'd not miss it for the world," you call after her.

When the door finally closes behind you, you slump down in the chair, your bones aching. The fire is already burning and your trunk is standing at the foot of the bed. No reason for anyone to disturb you.

Now if only Jon would show up.

As you wait your mind begins to wander. What if Jon's not going to come? It's been a year after all. What if he found someone else? Or he's simply not interested anymore? What if he's gotten it into his head to go to the Wall for real?

You shake your head, trying to dislodge the thoughts. You shrug out of your cloak and your travel clothes, turning to the bowl of warm water that's been helpfully placed on the table. You wet the cloth and start to wipe away the sweat and the dirt of the road, a quick wash before the feast to make yourself look decent.

Just then there's a knock on the door, yours and Jon's signal.

"Come in," you call, your voice surprisingly even.

You turn to see Jon slip in, closing the door firmly behind himself and latching it.

"Y/N," Jon breathes, his eyes roaming over you. You realize suddenly that you're standing in nothing but your underskirts and maybe that's a bad idea. Then again, from the way Jon's eyes widen and he takes a step closer almost involuntarily, maybe it's not.

"Jon," you put down the cloth in favor of reaching out for him. Really, why is he still standing by that damn door. "Come here."

"I wasn't sure if – " he starts. He looks hesitant but he steps closer, just barely out of reach.

"Of course," you say, trying to put everything into these two words. He takes the last step and you pull him in as soon as he's close enough, hugging him tightly. He feels so different in your arms, his strong arms coming up around you, holding you close.

For a moment, nothing in the world exists except you and Jon.

"I've missed you, oh gods how I've missed you," he murmurs against your hair, pressing kisses to your hairline.

You bury your face in his chest, breathing in the smell of him. There are tears welling up in your eyes and a tiny sob escapes you.

Jon pulls back, not letting you go, just far enough to see your face.

"Y/N, why are you crying? Is something wrong?"

"No, Jon. I'm just so happy to see you," you say, but the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. Jon is more beautiful than ever, the firelight picking out the soft curve of his nose, the arch of his lips. He's got a beard now and you have no idea what it feels like to kiss him. "We've been apart for too long."

"I've waited every day for you," he tells you, cupping your face.

"And I for you," you say, leaning in to close the unbearable distance between you. Kissing Jon feels good, so good. Different, but good. His lips are as soft as you remember, but his beard scratches your cheeks and it makes you giggle breathlessly.

"You've got a beard now," you say, running your hand along his jaw, cupping his cheek gently. "I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And your hair's finally under some sort of control," you grin, sliding your hand back to slide through the hair at the nape of his neck.

It's a delight to see Jon blush again and you love that even now your words have that effect on him.

"You," he smiles, "are even more beautiful now. I didn't think it was possible, and yet here you are."

"And how glad I am to finally be here again."

"In Winterfell?" Jon smirks.

"In your arms," you shoot back, gripping the back of his neck.

Jon pulls you in for another short kiss and you try to chase after him when he pulls away.

"We'll be expected at the feast soon," he chuckles. "you should get cleaned up. I'll leave you to it.

"You should help me," you say, tightening your grip when he tries to pull away.

He looks at you for a moment, but you know he's just as reluctant as you are for him to leave and eventually the desire to be close to you wins out over his caution.

"Alright," he allows and you smile.

"Sit down," you say, pushing him towards the chair.

He looks confused but he goes easily enough when you push him down with a hand on his chest. All the breath goes out of him when you settle in his lap, your thighs on either side of his.

Jon's hands flutter above your waist as if he's not sure where to put them, whether he's allowed to touch.

You reach over for the cloth, wetting it again, and press it into Jon's hand. You tilt your head to the side, exposing your neck, you shoulder, your chest for him to wash.

"You're killing me here, Y/N," he groans, but he starts wiping lightly at your collarbone.

You can't help but tease him a little, licking your bottom lip and watching through your lashes as his eyes track the movement.

"All yours," you say, shifting just slightly. It draws another groan from him and his hand falters where he's running the cloth over your shoulder.

"Don't torture me like this, Y/N, there's no time." His other hand comes up to your waist, trying to steady you.

"You'll have to wait till after the feast," you grin, leaning forward a little so your breast are pressed against his chest.

"You're enjoying this, huh?" Jon asks, his voice sounding strangled. His eyes are dark and full of desire and you want him so much. You want to sit here for hours, kissing him until you're both breathless, squirming in his lap, rubbing against him until you reach your peak.

"Yes," you sigh, breathless at the thought of finally lying with Jon. "Have you," you drag a hand along his shoulder, over his neck, "been with anyone else?"

"No," Jon says immediately with so much fervor you feel silly for even asking. "Never, Y/N. Never."

You take his face in both hands, tilting it upwards so you can kiss him again and again.

"Me either," you breathe, smoothing a strand of hair back from his forehead.

"Lady Y/N, are you ready?" A voice sounds from outside the door followed by a sharp knock. "I've come to fetch you for the feast."

"A moment," you call back, pressing a finger to Jon's lips and grinning down at him. "I'll just be a moment. I can find my way down alone, thank you ever so much."

"As you please, milady," the girl calls back and you listen to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

When you're quite sure she's gone you take your finger off Jon's mouth, pressing a last chaste kiss to those lips.

"That was close," Jon frowns. "Too close. We have to be more careful."

"Close would be if she'd had come barging in and you'd have had to hide in my trunk," you say as you slide of his lap, walking over to the trunk and pulling out the first dress you find, slipping it on.

"Could you – " you turn your back to Jon, indicating the open dress.

"Why are your women's clothes so complicated," he grumbles, fumbling with the strings as he pulls at them.

"It's not that hard," you laugh, brushing your hair forward over one shoulder. "You tug, left, right, left, right. See?" you smile as he finishes lacing you up. You turn around in his arms and press a kiss to his smiling mouth.

"All I see is you, making us late," he says, but his smile grows wider.

You shrug. "We'll just say I got horribly lost and you found me wandering the halls." You grin up at him. "My knight in shining armor."

"I'm hardly a knight," he scoffs as you make your way towards the door.

"But you are  _ my _ knight in shining armor." You lean up to press one final kiss to Jon's lips before you open the door. Kissing Jon really is addictive. 

He steps away from you as soon as the door is open and you glance at him from the corner of your eye.

"You know we  _ can _ walk arm in arm, don't you?" you ask, but you cross your hands in front of yourself to keep from reaching out for him again.

"We can't be too careful," he replies, looking straight ahead.

It hurts your heart to be even this far from him, to have to pretend even for an hour not to love him. And you don't want to anymore, don't plan to, but now is not the right time to tell Jon about your plans. Later.

**Author's Note:**

> ya i hope you liked it!! leave kudos +comments if you do


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